2006-10-20

"Plain Vanilla" Indicates Food Ignorance

This guy, an executive at Sara Lee (of all places!), diegns to advise us about healthier eating for family outings at league sports events. I suppose we should expect the following food ignorance from an exectutive at the food abortionist Sara Lee corporation:

1. The term "plain vanilla" (he uses this to describe a yogurt he recommend) is an oxymoron, identical in absurdity to the terms that even he would recognize as preposterous: "plain chocolate" or "plain strawberry." Vanilla is one of the most powerful, profound, and prized flavors granted to us by nature. And it ain't even white! It's freakin' light brown.

2. He thinks that junk food that's "low fat" is any better than non-"low fat" garbage. For one thing, charactorizing a food as "high fat" is meaningless in terms of ascertaining its healthfulness, since many of the most nurishing of all molecules qualify as "fats." "High fat" is only bad if the fat is a bad fat, such as hydrogenated oils. So full fat yogurt made from the milk of healthy, free range cows fed only organic grasses contains more nurishment than yogurt from the same milk that had those nurishing milk fats removed. Also, "low fat" foods often obtain this meaningless moniker by trading a large quantity of wonderful fat for a smaller quantity of health-destroying artificial fat, such as hydrogenated oils. "High fat" patries made with real butter, whole grain wheat, and unrefined sugars will nourish a soul, unlike his "low fat" recommendations, with their hydrogenated oils, refined sugars, denatured flour, and food colorings.

3. He actually recommends adding food colorings to "low fat" "plain vanilla", and in recommending this yogurt, he makes no suggestion regarding the quality of sugar and milk used. Parents will nurish their children with full fat "Brown Cow" brand yogurts, which contain no refined or fake sugar and no food colorings, while parents will underming their children with "low fat" Dannon yogurt, with its many culinary abortions.

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